The 10 Demandments

One of my supervisors gave a group of student counselors and I a great resource to use with couples in counseling. I think I will use it with myself and my own relationships as well. It’s called ‘The 10 Demandments”–basically 10 rules to live by to ensure unhappy relationships. It was created by Joy Erlichman Miller in her book, “Addictive Relationships.” Although secular, it is spot on.

  1. Thou shalt make me happy.
  2. Thou shalt not have any interests other than me.
  3. Thou shalt know what I want and what I feel without me having to say.
  4. Thou shalt return each one of my sacrifices with an equal or greater sacrifice.
  5. Thou shalt shield me from anxiety, worry, hurt, or any pain.
  6. Thou shalt give me my sense of self worth and esteem.
  7. Thou salt be grateful for everything I do.
  8. Thou shalt not be critical of me, show anger toward me or otherwise disapprove of anything I do.
  9. Thou shalt be so caring and loving that I need never take risks or be vulnerable in any way,
  10. Thou shalt love me with my whole heart, thy whole soul and thy whole mind, even if I do not love myself.
What do you think? Humorous because it’s so true! I see just how much I “demand” things from other people and it only creates strain.

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